Sunday, February 28, 2010

Second Draft (bad poetry)

What did I do today:

Today is the first of May
What did I do today
I went to the bay and
Talked to Aunt Fay like usual
She had nothing to say
I went on my way
Collecting my pay and
Even bought a bale of hay
Its been one heck of a day
On the first of May

5 comments:

  1. say, what a day.
    oh hey.
    I personally liked it. it rhymed and had sort of a crust, if you will, of meaningfulness. just a wild guess here, but next time we will probably have to make our poems better, so make it like a thick crust, or even a nice glaze.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Although this was suppose to be better, it really wasn't. It sounded like a nursery rhyme. Maybe next time you write a poem forget about the rhyming and just focus on the idea/image you want to get out there. But I did like how you started and ended with the same line "On the first of May" Good way to start and end the poem. Good Job.

    ReplyDelete
  5. well i did enjoy the fact that it did ryhme. the story wasn't quite as well as i would like but it is only the second draft and knowing nels we got some time to work on it

    ReplyDelete