What did I do today:
Today is the first of May
What did I do today
I went to the bay and
Talked to Aunt Fay like usual
She had nothing to say
I went on my way
Collecting my pay and
Even bought a bale of hay
Its been one heck of a day
On the first of May
Sunday, February 28, 2010
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say, what a day.
ReplyDeleteoh hey.
I personally liked it. it rhymed and had sort of a crust, if you will, of meaningfulness. just a wild guess here, but next time we will probably have to make our poems better, so make it like a thick crust, or even a nice glaze.
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ReplyDeleteAlthough this was suppose to be better, it really wasn't. It sounded like a nursery rhyme. Maybe next time you write a poem forget about the rhyming and just focus on the idea/image you want to get out there. But I did like how you started and ended with the same line "On the first of May" Good way to start and end the poem. Good Job.
ReplyDeletewell i did enjoy the fact that it did ryhme. the story wasn't quite as well as i would like but it is only the second draft and knowing nels we got some time to work on it
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